i want to get a tattoo and a haircut and a motorcycle or a fiat and take kickboxing or ballet or karate and italian classes but i have 0 motivation
2. me along. i appreciate that he cares about me enough to let me go and to be totally honest with me. i was upset of course, but i respect his decision. now i know i have to step aside and help him get on the right track, whether i stay in his life or not. i hope i can, but maybe i’ll find it’s too painful, at least for a time. as much as he’s my dear friend, i was hoping for something more. it’s not like we never talked about getting married.
3. so of course i was hoping for that, probably too much like i always do haha. i wanted to ask your advice on this now: how do i let thoughts of what could of been stop torturing me? and what are some good, healthy ways to distract myself as i work on getting over this? thank you so much. <3
hello! good to hear from you again!
well, this was certainly a beautiful chapter in your life. i think that’s really the best way to look at it. i mean, it’s like a movie. like an epic romance. and just think — you got to experience it! you got to have that in your own life!
i know that’s a hard perspective to take now. you’ve had a thorn in your heart, and it’s just been removed … you thought you were hurting before, but now it’s the absence that’s getting to you; the wound open; the bleeding. the want.
really, i think the healthiest thing is to just let it bleed. allow the hurt. breathe through it. you can’t make it go away right away, you have to let it heal. and the only real cure for this is time and perspective.
possible bandages in the meantime:
- new hobbies!
- old hobbies!
- making new friends!
- being alone!
grander things are on the horizon — it’s just hard to see it, because you’re clinging to those last words at the end of this chapter. allow yourself to move on and discover all the things that wait for you in the rest of the book!
i asked this on anon because i was nervous but i’m not nervous anymore. i just want to say thank you gowns for this wonderful response. definitely brought tears to my eyes. you have no idea how much your advice and kindness has helped me (not just with this, but all the advice you give to everyone!). you truly are a beautiful soul. so honest and positive. thank you so so much and god bless you always!
he’s precious to me as a friend also…i just have to work on loving him differently. but thinking of never kissing him, holding his hand, laying with him again, it breaks my heart…and i can NEVER go back to rome which sucks because i love it but way too many memories
— Matt Chandler
this morning I was fine, I thought I would be ok but now it hit me and I’m a mess…well it happened and after this stage I can only go up